Nightbeast (1982) — Triskaidekafiles

NIGHTBEAST

WRITER: Don Dohler

DIRECTOR: Don Dohler

STARRING: Tom Griffith as Sheriff Cinder

Jamie Zemarel as Jamie Lambert

Karin Kardian as Lisa Kent

George Stover as Steven Price

Anne Frith as Ruth Sherman

Eleanor Herman as Mary Jane

Richard Dyszel as Mayor Bert Wicker

Don Leifert as Drago

QUICK CUT: A stranger arrives to town after crashing his ride on the outskirts, and he just wants to get a hand getting things fixed and finding a bite to eat.

THE MORGUE

Sheriff Cinder - A rare good cop, who just wants to protect his town from the galaxy invader.

Lisa - A deputy who is treated much like any woman of authority in an 80s movie, by keeping her safe. But the movie does try to push her forward and give her some spotlight.

Jamie - A friend of the police who is just a good guy.

Steve Price - The medical examiner, and always willing to help.

Mayor Bert “Bertie” Wicker - A slimy politician more interested in his image and stepping up the ladder, than doing anything for his town.

Drago - The town’s tough guy who gets in the way of everyone.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! I hope everyone is having a safe and happy Thanksgiving, as best they can in these days of Corona. I know normally I bring the TG movies, but, quite frankly...I am fresh out of them, I think. Also, I was at least gonna stick with food and go with Motel Hell, which Channel 13 tee'd up nicely...but I discovered I don't actually HAVE that movie, so had to go with just a random bit of cinematic turkey...Nightbeast!

This is another film from Don "Galaxy Invader" Dohler, and it is in much the same vein, but we'll get into that. Let's just get this started.

We actually open up rather excitingly, with a spaceship rocketing through space, until it's buzzing Earth, gets hit by an asteroid, and comes scorching through the atmosphere.

The ship dies in a fire, but all the light and smoke and noise draw the attention of the local mob camping in the nearby woods. So of course, they do what any normal person would do, and go to check out the explosion.

Doctor Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished…

Meanwhile, Sheriff Cinder is informed of the explosion, and they go to check out the bright thing. But not before informing deputy Lisa to come meet them, so she can get some more experience in the field.

The hunters find the craft's pilot first, and they are also the first to die, with barely even enough time to register it.

Elsewhere, Uncle Dave pulls off the road to take a whiz, while his niece and nephew wait in the car...for all of five seconds until they come out to surprise and scare him.

They see the creature behind Dave, but he doesn't believe them, and tells the kids to wait in the car. But it's not long at all before Uncle Dave is a believer. Unfortunately, he dies soon after, and the creature zaps the car with the kids in it too.

Elsewhere, a couple are making out in their house, and suddenly the woman breaks the kiss and declares, "Someone is running towards the house!" She...she must have REALLY good hearing.

The guy heads outside with a shotgun, doesn't find a thing, but the creature finds him, rips his chest open, then takes care of the girl.

This early design for the Dominators leave something to be desired.

Finally, the sheriff and his mob show up, and it is a massacre. Despite being a large group against one creature, the Nightbeast makes short work of them all with his laser gun. It's a pretty cool shoot out, all told.

The next day, the sheriff takes another townsperson to try and find the creature, and sharpshoot his zappy gun out of his hands.

It's not long before they get a call and head out to George Michaels' farm, not sure if they're gonna be successful taking out the creature. Hey, you just gotta have faith.

Somewhat surprisingly, the plan works, and they destroy the gun. But it is a victory that comes with the cost of more dead.

Later, Cinder goes to try and get the mayor to do something, and call in help, but he's more interested in keeping a party for the governor going.

So it's basically, Jaws but with a pool party. Nice.

Despite orders to not do anything, the sheriff organises to evacuate the town, while the mayor throws his little party.

While everything is going on, the sheriff calls the local doctor to go gather up one of the bodies that was killed during all the fighting. And hey, it’s JJ from Galaxy Invader!

However, they get a bit of a surprise to find the body is missing, likely dragged away.

Just as they’re leaving, the local bad boy, Drago, drives up on his motorcycle just to be a nuisance and hassle the cops. Yes, he just drove up to mock the sheriff and drive away.

The guy helping Cinder, Jamie, wants to go tell his girlfriend, who also just so happens to be Drago's girl, that the town is being evacuated. But before they can get there, we get to see Drago's softer side as he tosses her around some, and tears off her clothes, then leaves.

Jamie shows up, passes on the news, and leaves her to pack and skadoot while he and the sheriff ride on. And when we cut back to her, she's packing in the nude, so I'm just imaginging her having the conversation about alien monsters and evacuating while completely naked.

Drago sees this, and before she can leave, he barges back in, and finishes what he started, murdering her.

Anyways, the party has kicked off, and Bertie is entertaining the governor. At least, until Cinder and friends show up. Oh, and I think the governor was the dad from Galaxy Invader too.

Bertie tries to keep his party going, and keep the sheriff quiet, but Jamie uses a gun to get everyone's attention, tell them there's a gas leak, and they need to evacuate.

...And yes, I do believe I heard someone yell "CUT!" after the gunshot. Ahhh, professional filmmaking.

Meanwhile, some guys are dropping off someone after an accident to the doctor's office, and the Nightbeast shows up to slaughter most of them when they head out to the car.

Back inside the doctor's office, the doctor and mrs. doctor are hiding in the basement while the creature ransacks the upstairs.

Steven peeks out to see if it is safe, it most assuredly is NOT, and the Nightbeast comes after them, hacking through the door. See? Aliens can't be stopped by simple doors!

Is that the same basement from Galaxy Invader?

The doctor at least has an idea to fight back, and rigs up an electrical wire with some water on the floor by the washing machine, to try and zap the creature out.

And the improvised electrocutional does the trick! Well, it doesn't stop the Nightbeast, but it does slow him down considerably and makes him run off to recover.

That's when some other guys show up with Ruth's body, which they found while checking houses for anyone staying behind.

Jamie naturally knows who is responsible for it, and bum rushes Drago, leading to a knock down, drag out fight, for the fate of America.

The sheriff and Lisa come upon the body of the dude from the start of the movie, and the Nightbeast finds them, leading to more chasing. Did he bait them? Is this 12 dollar Predator??

During the chase, the sheriff slips and falls, and Lisa helps patch him up, and it leads to a makeout session between them. Sheesh.

I think that’s even the same ‘cliff’ from Galaxy Invader!

Meanwhile, Mayor Bertie and Mary Jane are just sitting around, getting drunk, and doing the opposite of evacuating.

Steven shows up to try and help them out of town, and there is a whole lotta not killing during this scene.

He gives up trying to help the drunks, and leaves. But soon there's more knocking, and MJ thinks it's him returning.

Instead, she finds the alien, he kills her and her screams wake up Bert, only so he can die soon afterwards.

Face it, tiger, you just hit the jackpot.

After the sheriff and Lisa show up to discover the bodies, everyone dejectedly decides to depart the town.

That is, until Jamie decides they should stay and fight, by wiring up a trap for the creature to stumble into and electrocute itself.

But where to set it up? They deduce the creature feeds on flesh, knows there are bodies at the medical examiners’, and that must be the only logical place for the creature to go!

A head which at this time, hates being called Bertie.

Aaand that is how they discover their sleepy town being invaded by an alien creature also has long had a serial killer with a stash of bodies in his basement?

Drago shows up to continue being a distraction from the actual plot. He attacks Lisa, Cinder comes investigating, and after a fight during which Drago gets the upper hand, Jamie shows up to finally blast him with a shotgun.

We finally get back to the plot, and assemble the trap with an EPIC WIRE RUNNING MONTAGE!

All right, who’s this random redshirt? I mean, we all know he's gonna bite it.

After everyone does a whole lot of wandering around and looking spooked, the creature finally shows up and instantly snaps Steven's neck.

The creature walks into the wires, and they're ready to thrrrow ze svitch! but it is tugging at the wires, pulling them loose. Jamie is the only thing standing in the way of the creature getting away.

So Jamie tells Ruth to turn on the juice, knowing full well what he is in for. Aaaand the movie jus comes to a sharp sudden end after that.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: I gotta say, it looks decent enough for a low budget 80s flick. A little above average.

Audio: About the same, just fine.

Body Count: Wow, this movie did not screw around, even if most of these are from the massacre scene.

1- At the seven minute mark, Jerry gets zapped by Nightbeast

2,3 - Two more hunters get zapperated.

4 - Uncle Dave got smooshed.

5 - Dude at house gets his guts ripped out.

6 - And his lady friend shortly afterwards.

7,8 - The kids get zapped up with the car

9 - One of the search party goes down.

10 - And another

11, 12 - And two more

13 - Al goes down

14 - The Twirler goes down.

15 - One of the second hunting party goes pof

16 - Drago strangles his girlfriend

17 - Milton gets disarmed Check name

18 - One of his friends gets killed

19 - And another

20 - A dead body is found

21 - Mary Jane gets caught by the monster

22 - Bert gets his head removed

23 - Drago gets shot by Jamie

24 - Steven gets his neck snapped.

25 - Random redshirt, gets swatted

26 - Jamie sacrifices himself

27 - The creature gets electrocutionaled.

Best Corpse: Oh Bertie, it’s gotta be you. I am a sucker for decapitation, and it was a bit more than a zap into ash, or sudden disintegration.

Blood Type - B-: Not too bad, some good bloody bits when there aren’t zaps doing the dirty work.The alien creature stands out (Although it is questionable), and for this level of thing, even Bert’s head is passable enough.

Sex Appeal: Get ready for sheriff sex!

Drink Up! Every time you hear the name Bertie.

Movie Review: I was surprised by how much this charmed me, even if it is hard to deny this is a second draft of Galaxy Invader. To be fair, stick with what you know, right? And in that context, there are things it does better than the original. The monster IS more of a threat, and not a sympathetic creature, which happened accidentally in the first. It’s a slaughterhouse of a film at times, but not too gory, and the plot is a bit better. Still, I think Invader is a bit better, and I felt more engaged with the characters. But this one wins out for having a bit more polish on it. Three out of five severed arms

Entertainment Values: This movie is slightly less ridiculous than Invader, names aren’t being constantly shouted out, and the characters are more believable. So it loses a bit of the wild wacky fun of the other movie, but is still entertaining in its own right, from Bertie’s antics, to the sheriff, and even Drago brings something to the film. A solid three out of five JJ Abrams lens flares.

…Did I not mention he did some of the music for this movie? Yeah, JJ Abrams was involved in this movie. Who knew??