Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder in Hell (1995)

BLOODY MUSCLE BODYBUILDER IN HELL

WRITER: Shinichi Fukazawa

DIRECTOR: Shinichi Fukazawa

STARRING: Shinichi Fukazawa as Shinji/Naoto

Masaaki Kai as Mizuguchi

Masahiro Kai as ?

Aki Tama Mai as ?

Asako Nosaka as ?

QUICK CUT: A man takes his friend to a family home far away, and they encounter some previous tenants.

THE MORGUE

Naoto - A young man who is full of himself and more interested in looking good and being strong than anything else.

Maki - Naoto’s ex girlfriend, who is interested in the paranormal, and hopes to some day see a ghost.

Mizuguchi - A psychic who gets dragged along for the ride, and has a dry sense of humour.

I’m not sure which words are modifying which parts of that phrase.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! September kicks off with something I haven't done in forEVER, a foreign, subtitled film. This time out, we are taking a look at Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder in Hell, a movie popularly known as "Japanese Evil Dead". As I've been getting more into Visual Vengeance's output, this caught my eye as something really fun, and a way to dip my toes back into that bloody stream. So let's get to it.

Also, since there's no real cast listing for this movie, or at least not one I can read, I might mix up or screw up names, and I apologise to everyone.

We open up in the 70s, somewhere in Japan, at a small house. A woman tries to stab Shinji with a knife, and the pair struggle. It comes to an end when Shinji overpowers her, the knife drives into her chest, and she falls to the floor, dead.

I am sick of everyone telling me to get in the robot!

He uses a shovel to lift up some floorboards, and dumps her body underneath them. He gets blood everywhere, but it's okay, her necklace magically sucks it up. The quicker picker upper!

She's Not Quite Dead though, and she grabs Shinji. She says he belongs to her, before getting more shovel in the face, and being forgotten to time.

The movie jumps to the present, or the 90s, where Shinji's son, and spitting image of dear old dad, Naoto, is working out and building his muscles.

On the other end is his ex girlfriend Mika, who has an interest in the paranormal. She wants to know of Naoto could show her that old photograph that freaked her out, and if he'd be willing to let them check out the house in it, from the start of the movie.

So that weekend, the pair of them, along with a psychic third wheel called Mizuguchi, drive off into the woods to find a cabi...oh. No wait, just the house on the edge of town, so we're not really as remote as the actual Evil Dead.

Mizuguchi senses something evil watching them, but they proceed into the house anyways, because otherwise we wouldn't have much of a movie.

The group explores the house for a bit, establishing the location, and letting Miz feel the vibes of the place. He looks down the basement stairs and decides, nah, we'll save that for later. Instantly making him the smartest person in the film.

Miz pauses once they reach what I believe is the living room. He senses this is the concentration of the bad vibes, it's where It Happened.

Naoto goes to open a window to air out the demons, but Mizuguchi insists he not let the light in. The dank!!

The psychic tries reaching out to the spirits, while someone off camera flickers the light switch. Naoto is too self involved and checking his hair in the mirror to care about any of it.

Miziguchi connects though, and sees a hand reaching out for Naoto. Miz tries to bring attention to it, but the clock flings off the wall and knocks the psychic out.

They get Miz out to the car, but it won't start. As the psychic comes to in the back seat, the other two are trying to figure out what to do. I dunno, start walking?

Miz asks for the keys to the house so he can go in alone to try and take care of the problem. Yeah, that should go well.

He wanders through the house, encountering a handful of weird things, including the woman who demands Mizuguchi's body, because hers has rotten away. Ugh, is he just another piece of meat to you??

To make it easier to take it from him, she stabs and kills the psychic. She then drops her necklace into his mouth to control him like a golem.

Outside, the other two are getting restless, not sure what to do. See, this is why you should always have a "if we're not back in X minutes, avenge our deaths!" plan.

They find the bloody knife, and soon Miz's almost corpse falls out of a closest. He's not quite dead, and demands that they get out while he's still alive and in control.

All the doors and windows slam shut and/or lock, and even Naoto with his vaunted muscles can't see to get them open.

The now-possessed corpse of Mizuguchi springs to life and chases after the couple, with some hilarious and effective gore gags in the fun.

Naoto gets the knife, and slashes Miz across the neck, causing him to fall to the ground, gurgling. Huh. Well, that was easy!

Or so it would seem, if the deader dead man didn't leap back up and grab Naoto's arm to continue their fight.

They eventually shove Mizuguchi into the bathroom, and barricade the door so he hopefully can't escape.

With a chance to breathe, Maki and Naoto get back to trying to find an open door or window to make their egress from.

In the living room, the tv suddenly springs to life, and the floating head of Naoto's father creates a broadcast signal intrusion to take over the airwaves and speak with his son.

He explains that the woman possessing the house and the Miz was his ex lover, and he killed her in an accident.

This is an S.O.S distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak.

Naoto doesn't quite get it, and asks, "What??" And I just..."What did I just say? Are you even listening to me?? Kids these days!"

His father loses his connection as the woman blocks him, but he does say the weapon Naoto needs is in the basement.

The two make their way there, but are blocked by Mizucorpsi jumping them and continuing the fight from earlier.

At least, until the shovel comes back into the plot, and Naoto slices Mizugughi's head clean off. Deadites are squishy.

That does't stop the body though, and the fight continues in all kinds of goofy ways that would make Sam Raimi proud.

Eventually they stop the headless corpseman, and hack it into tiny bits and limbs.

But he's still not out of it, and they still can't leave. So they decide the next best course of action is to burn the body.

However, they discover they don't have any way to start a fire, so they head down to the basement to see what they can find...dad's shotgun!

AND HE SAYS GROOVY HE SAYS THE THING! …Ahem.

They head back upstairs to use the shotgun to blast Miz into tinier Mizibits, but some of his pieces have crawled off while they weren't looking.

But it's okay, they show back up soon, looking like they've been cobbled together by Dr. Herbert West.

There's more wacky fighting, and Mika gets bitten during all the commotion, and a few more shotgun blasts do more damage to Mizuguchi's remains.

But STILL the doors won't open, and things are just getting worse.

The remains of Mizuguchi start melting away, or are taken under the floor, and the reanimated rotten corpse of the woman comes bursting out.

Miz's remains melt and congeal into a loaf of meat, and slither across the floor to the corpse. She does her best to absorb what she can of the Meatyguchi, and put some meat back on her bones as the conclusion draws near.

Naoto tries to grab the shotgun, but a now-possessed Mika stands in his way. Great, now he has two creatures to fight.

Cue more wacky fighting until Naoto gets flung down into the basement, where he realises that it wasn't the shotgun that was the weapon down there waiting for him...it was his own weights!

Naoto must be true to himself and fight back with the only weapon he ever truly needed; HIS MUSCLES!

Yes. They do a totally rip off homage of Lou Ferrigno's Hulk opening credits. It's...kinda amazing?

Upstairs, the woman is gathering up more Mizudebris to strengthen herself and the possessed Mika. They are having a nice dinner, until a weight is flung into the creature's head.

And there, standing in the basement door, bathed in light, is a scene that does NOT need to go this hard, but here we are.

I return to you now, at the turn of the tide!

Naoto spins a dumbell over his head like a staff, while the two obstacles stare back as if to say, "Dafuq??" and the fight is on.

This whole final scene is shockingly great. What works about it is the genuinely creative use of the weight set as weapons, that feels organic and knowledgeable. Is it ridiculous? Oh my yes. But it is a great time.

Anyways, there is much fighting until he stops the main monster, and then Naoto sucks the demon grape juice out of her neck, spitting it on the floor. Well that's gonna stain.

Somehow, this saves her, and it makes as much sense as anything else so far, so I'm good with it.

The woman makes one last go of it, and she is stopped with a barrage of shotgun shells, spraying blood everywhere

Once again, the remains of the woman melt and try to reform like a meat Terminator, circling around the necklace. But, I guess it's done too much, and has no strength left, and the bits of blood just can't stay together.

The doors now open, and the two leave the house, never to look back, driving off into the rising sun.

Just one hit of Hamburger Helper is all it takes.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: I’m not sure how to judge this. How much is the poor look on purpose? I mean, it looks GOOD or something that looks like it was shot on 1970s era home video film stock. But that’s the point. It’s not great, or sharp, but it’s not supposed to be.

Audio: Fairly average.

Sound Bite: “Training in a haunted house sounds like a fun hobby"

Body Count: Not a lot of characters mean not a lot of death, and most of them are repeats, because they’re stubborn. Stay dead!

1 - Just about a minute in, dude stabs woman in the chest, back in the 70s.

2 - Miziguchi dies at the hands of the house's spirits.

3 - Dead Miziguchi gets hacked to pieces

4 - Deadite woman gets shotgunned to pieces

Best Corpse: The dead lover gets the prize. First how she looks when she comes back, becomes a meat golem, falls apart, and is all so gooey and bloody and red.

Blood Type - A+: Yeah, that’s right. Is this the first perfect blood score? There is blood everywhere in this film. And it’s a great shade of red. And the effects are REALLY good. Tons of good gags, bits and pieces running around, half heads, severed heads, meat golems, meatloaf creatures. This movie is drenched in red. And while there’s bloodier movies, and movies with better effects, this hits a sweet spot where both support the other.

Drink Up! Every time you hear dodgy foley sounds.

Movie Review: If I’m being honest, the story is a bit light, and a bit messy. Not as bad as some, nay most, of the movies I’ve seen, but the plotting is a bit rushed. It’s clearly an indie project, so we’re grading on a curve here. Still, everyone’s motivations are clear, Naoto gets an arc, the reasons things are going on make sense. And it’s shot very well, above and beyond the average for this level of film. Three out of five haunted necklaces.

Entertainment Value: Gosh I actually kinda love this. I’ve said repeatedly how goofy and fun the action is. It earns that “Japanese Evil Dead” name, it’s not just window dressing, or putting on airs. Everything about the creatures is ridiculously fun and inventive, and you want to see what they’re going to throw at you next. This was an absolute delight, and very entertaining. Five out of five weight plates.

Also, my good friends Bo Ransdell and Richard Glenn Schmidt did their own look in an episode of Bo’s podcast “The Dark Parade”, and you should totally check that out too, if you want another view at it.