Urban Legend (1998) — Triskaidekafiles

URBAN LEGEND

WRITER: Silvio Horta

DIRECTOR: Jamie Blanks

STARRING: Jared Leto as Paul

Alicia Witt as Natalie

Rebecca Gayheart as Brenda

Joshua Jackson as Damon

Loretta Devine as Reese

Tara Reid as Sasha

Michael Rosenbaum as Parker

John Neville as Dean Adams

Robert Englund as Professor Wexler

QUICK CUT: College students reflect upon the past as the anniversary of a tragedy on campus looms.

THE MORGUE

Natalie - A college student with a secret past. She takes no shit, and is very sceptical. She’s the blueprint for strong female characters.

Brenda - Natalie’s best friend. She’s a bit boy crazy, and makes googly eyes at almost any guy she sees.

Paul - A journalism student who is all about the truth. He will go to any length to get to the bottom of the story, no matter who he has to step on.

Damon - The class clown, the prankster, the flirt.

Professor Wexler - The teacher for the urban legends class. He’s your average professor, who has little patience for students not paying attention.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! This week, I dug out an old favourite, because I wanted to, and because hey! I was on a podcast to talk about it! This week's choice of movies is the original Urban Legend, and you should totally check out the What's Your Favourite Scary Movie? podcast, who asked me on their show. The episode is a great companion piece to this, since it’s a bit more of an informal discussion and less of a plot point by plot point breakdown. I will try not to repeat TOO many of my jokes.

The movie opens up on Michelle as she's driving down the road badly singing along to Total Eclipse of the Heart. She is so into her tunes, that she misses her car running out of gas. She limps into the first gas station she sees, and waits for an attendant.

Unfortunately, she gets Charles Lee Ray himself, Brad Dourif, stuttering and filling her tank. Every little thing he does puts her on edge, and he eventually comes back to tell her that her credit card was declined, and they company wants to speak with her on the phone.

My girlfriend and I saw you from inside, and we liked your vibe…

When she gets into the garage, there's no one on the phone, and Chucky has locked the door. She maces him good, assuming the worst, and breaks a window to get back to her car. Honestly, a smart series of moves.

As she drives off, the attendant stutters out a warning, shouting that there is someone in the backseat, a la the infamous urban legend.

She races down the rain drenched road, trying to find her chill. Eventually we learn Brad was right, as a hooded figure slowly rises up, and whacks the girl's head off with a hatchet.

We then are off to college, and do the rounds meeting the canon fodder for the movie, with a brief segue way through Sasha's college radio program call in show for horny students. Dr. Drew she is not.

Then we meet the bulk of the cast, as Parker tells about the local urban legend of a student who went around the bend one day, went up and down Stanley Hall, and killed anyone who opened their door when they knocked on it.

Natalie asks the obvious question of where the proof is, but oh, Parker has an answer for that, since the college has a reputation for it's safety record. Rather than tarnish that, they just sweep the controversy under the rug like nothing happened.

The group goes their separate ways, and Natalie and Brenda walk past Stanley Hall on their way back to their respective dorms. They pause outside the door to do the urban legend of Bloody Mary, even though they get it spectacularly wrong. Ah well, no one's perfect.

But surprise! They actually do hear screaming, and make to run off before the ghosts of Stanley Hall get them. Fortunately, the source of the screaming was just the campus prankster, Damon.

Natalie makes it back to her room, after running into the requisite creepy janitor, and gets a surprise when she turns on the lights.

Her roommate, Tosh, is having some pretty heavy sex with a fellow goth, and yells for Natalie to turn off the light. Awwwkward.

Also, this was my first exposure to Danielle Harris. What a way to 'meet' her.

But the next day comes, and most of our cast goes to their class on urban legends, taught by Professor Freddy Krueger.

He sets the stage for the movie, explaining what urban legends are, which having a class to deliver your exposition is pretty clever. He then gives a few examples, including one that was a bit more modern at the time, eating Pop Rocks and drinking soda, causing your stomach to explode.

Professor Willie has Brenda come up, offers her some Pop Rocks, and when he offers her some soda, she vehemently refuses because of what supposedly happened to Mikey from the Life cereal commercials.

He tries to show her that Mikey is still alive with a recent photo, but she still won't do it. Heck, that could be anyone!

Mikey apparently grew up to be Seth McFarlane.

Damon on the other hand, eagerly volunteers to do it in Brenda's stead. He gobbles down the Pop Rocks and chugs down the soda. And thankfully, all is well, at least, until he starts spitting up and collapses to the floor.

There's a commotion to see what's happening, and Damon eventually flashes a grin so bright you can almost hear the "ting!" and yes, it was yet another prank.

As Natalie and Brenda leave class, they see people grabbing up the school paper, with a front page article on the girl who got axed at the start of the movie. The dean and head of security are gathering up as many of the papers as they can, because they don't want that reputation being ruined.

I assure you, the beaches will remain open.

Natalie gets back to her room, and we learn that she in fact knew Michelle, and is keeping it a secret. Before she can get too deep into her reminiscing, Damon shows up, offering her a shoulder to lean on, and hopefully more.

The pair drive off to makeout point or whatever, and just park to have a talk and bond and move the plot forward.

Natalie reveals to Damon she knew the girl, and he tries to garner some sympathy by sharing a story of losing his girlfriend.

But, if you haven't already guessed, it is a huge line, and Natalie isn't falling for a bit of it. Damon tries to get a kiss, and hands on, but Natalie punches him right in the face, demanding he take her home.

Damon hasn't heard no means no, and "me too" is several decades off, so he keeps pushing. That is, until Natalie just deadass glares at him with a warning of he can go home with one black eye, or two.

He goes off to take a piss, and probably lick his wounded pride, which is when the killer strikes and drags him off.

Natalie gets bored waiting for Damon to be murdered, and gets out of the car to see what's up. The hooded killer shows up and she scurries back into the safety of the car.

The killer hitches a rope to the back of the car, as Natalie tries to get the stubborn vehicle started. Something starts banging on the roof, making her even more anxious.

Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me.

Eventually, the car starts just as the killer scares Natalie some more, and she drives off, only to find that the rope led to a noose around Damon's neck, and he was the thing scratching at the roof of the car. As Natalie drives off, he hangs for his troubles, and the car jerks to a halt from the sudden tension.

When the body eventually falls back onto the car, revealing who it was to Natalie, she gets out of the wrecked vehicle, and runs away to get some help.

However, when the campus security gets up there, they find nothing. No trace of Damon, the car, or a killer.

And I just wanna say, the killer has put in a LOT of thinking into these deaths. They are recreating urban legends, fairly faithfully, and they are either waiting for the Perfect Moment, or have like a dozen backup plans, right?

Later, Natalie tries to get her friends to believe her, but Parker is sure it's all just another prank by Damon. I really like making your first big death a known prankster, since it lets the deaths be handwaved away for a little while longer, so the cast doesn't seem too stupid.

They do at least realise the two deaths so far are all based on urban legends, so that's something.

While Natalie does some urban legend research at the library, Tosh is in their room chatting up her next hookup. She gets a big surprise when the killer is coming from inside the room.

That's when Natalie returns to the room, but finally the negative reinforcement of turning the lights on too many times when Tosh is having sex did their trick. She actually manages to not turn the lights off this one, last, most important time.

Did the killer have a backup plan if Natalie did her usual, normal routine, and turned the lights on, staring right at her roomie getting choked out? Or was this just dumb luck?

But, all goes the killer's way, and Natalie goes to bed and puts her earbuds in, to ignore the loud commotion for the bed next to hers.

Natalie gets up the next day, checks on Tosh, and finds her cold dead body laying there, with her wrists slit. And written on the wall is a message in her blood.

Later, the school administration once again shrugs it off and writes it up as a suicide, since Tosh was depressed and on meds.

Natalie just wants to be alone, but she runs into Paul, who is following the story and has a few questions. He agrees to go off the record, and Natalie tells her tall tale, and he's reluctant to believe the story of an urban legend serial killer.

The dynamic duo try to find information on the Stanley Hall incident, since the 25th anniversary is looming, so it clearly must be important.

But the school paper's records have a gap in their archives, specifically of that year. Natalie and Paul hear the creepy janitor trying to clean up, and ask him if he knows anything, since he was maybe around. He doesn't want to give up any information, but tells them to go ask Freddy.

You know you’re in a Canadian movie when Julian Richings shows up.

So they head to the professor's office, but he isn't in. Paul breaks in, and they start going through his stuff. Natalie finds a hidden closet filled with stuff, including a very large axe and a familiar hooded parka.

This puts Wexler squarely at the top of the suspect list, and of course that's when he shows up and catches the two snoops in his office.

Wexler drags the pair to the dean, and he reprimands them, removes Paul from the school paper, and we learn Natalie was put on probation for wreckless endangerment in high school.

Natalie runs into Brenda and comes clean with her about knowing Michelle. She finally reveals what got her on probation; in high school, they did the gang initiation urban legend, chasing down a car, having a grand old time, until the other driver went off the road, killing himself.

While the killer takes out the dean for no particular reason other than upping the body count, which is not a complaint, the big 25th anniversary party kicks off, and Natalie has been dragged along to take her mind off the well everything.

Meanwhile, Paul has had the missing newspaper slipped to him, proving the massacre was real, and Wexler was the sole survivor. It definitely rockets him up the suspect list. Again.

Paul tries to get Parker to call off the party, but he instead ridicules his friend for being such a killjoy. As well as casting doubts on his motives, and suspicion that Paul might be the killer.

Was it Superman? I bet the killer was Superman.

Lex gets a threatening call, and he continues to mock them for it being an urban legend, this time about the babysitter and the call coming from inside the house.

But oh no, that's the wrong one, and instead, this is about the old woman who tried to dry her dog in the microwave. Parker rushes to the kitchen and finds his dog an exploded pile of red, and freaks out.

He stumbles to the bathroom, and the killer is not done with urban legends yet, as now it's time for the more deadly version of Pop Rocks, this time with drain cleaner being poured down Parker's throat.

Sasha has left the party at this point to do her radio show, but it all goes pear shaped when the killer shows up, takes out her producer, and proceeds to chase her around the building, while her wireless mic continues to broadcast. Everyone assumes it's just a performance in honour of the massacre, and no one does anything.

Natalie shows up just in time to watch the murder happen from the lobby. She runs into Paul and they try and get help, while Natalie is also suspicious of his behaviour. She is in full Trust No One mode.

As they try and run to the car and get out of there, they run into Brenda and take her along for the ride, literally.

They drive to a gas station and stop to see if there phone is working to call for help. Paul runs in, leaving the girls in the car. They smell something funny, and check the trunk, finding Wexler's body stinking up the joint.

Suspecting the worst, the girls run off into the forest, with Paul giving chase. They get separated, and Natalie makes it to the road, flagging down creepy janitor as he's trying to go home from work. I bet he’s thrilled to see more of these kids.

Natalie gets in, and continues to trust no one, as the creepy janitor gives off creepy vibes. But when a car drives by without headlights, and the janitor signals them, now it's Natalie's turn to be on the receiving end of the gang initiation urban legend.

The car crash takes out the janitor, but Natalie makes it through mostly unharmed. She climbs out and runs away, to try and get help. But she hears Brenda calling out from Stanley Hall and goes in for the final act.

When she gets there, she finds a tableau of many of the bodies, and Brenda unconscious on a bed. Natalie turns away long enough for Brenda to sit up and reveal she is the killer when she knocks out her best friend.

Brenda reveals she was engaged to the boy Natalie and Michelle inadvertently killed, and she's finally getting her revenge. And since he died by urban legend, Natalie and all her friends shall die by urban legends.

As Brenda starts to reenact the kidney heist urban legend, Reese jumps in with her gun drawn, ready to save the day.

But, the obsessed girl gets the better of the campus security, and gets the cop’s gun. Natalie has gotten herself untied, only to find herself at gunpoint, even though it's not very urban legendy.

Paul arrives and stalls by stroking Brenda's ego, and saying he'll help her, for the story, and it almost works. But Brenda isn't quite THAT crazy.

Before Brenda can pick someone to kill, Reese manages to get a shot off from her other gun, forgotten laying on the floor. Natalie gets the first gun, and defenestrates Brenda with a bullet.

They get Reese some help, and then Natalie and Paul drive off, musing how this will become an urban legend too, but the details will change, and this feels like such a big idea that never quite got explored. There's potential here somewhere, for someone who has the vision.

But, the story isn't quite over yet, as we bookend the movie with Brenda in the backseat again. However, things go differently this time, and Paul launches the girl out the car window, for a double defenestration and into the river below. Surely, this time she is dead.

Ha ha, nope! Have you learned nothing from all these movies? We cut to a group of college kids, doing exactly what Natalie posited, turning the movie into an urban legend in its own right. But then someone leans forward, saying that's not right, here's the REAL story...and it's Brenda. Or is it??

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: Hey, it’s a real movie from a real studio! It looks good!

Audio: Sounds pretty great too.

Sound Bite: “One black eye or two, Damon. It’s your choice.” So bad ass. So iconic.

Body Count: A very solid amount.

1 - Eight minutes in and Michelle gets an axe to the face and window.

2 - The killer hangs Damon, with a little help from Natalie trying to drive away.

3 - Tosh takes her autoerotic asphyxiation a step too far.

4 - The dean gets his ankles slit and impaled upon some tire spikes.

5 - Parker gets his pipes cleaned

6 - Sasha's producer gets killed behind her

7 - And then she gets 40 whacks

8 - The creepy janitor dies when his truck crashes

Best Corpse: Dean Adams getting his ankles slashed and tire punctured is great.

Blood Type - B: This movie doesn’t get TOO too bloody, with some deaths happening off camera to build suspense, and not a lot of gore, but it uses what it does, well. And then there’s the remains of the dog.

Sex Appeal: Not much here, strangely enough!

Drink Up Every time someone doesn’t believe Natalie

Movie Review: If you’ve read this far, and if you’ve listened to the podcast, you should know I love this movie. It’s genuinely one of my favourites. I often call this movie “my Scream” since it’s in that era of post Scream self awareness, but more to my personal tastes. I’ve always been a fan of urban legends, and watched it at a time when I was really getting into horror. If you scratch the plot a bit too much, the flaws become more apparent, like what if Natalie didn’t go to Urban Legends University? The level of planning. Brenda doing all these tasks herself without help… This is also the sort of movie where so often they just make up the killer at the very last second, but this movie, while it doesn’t give a lot of clues, it does play fair. And I’m sure Brenda was 100% always intended to be the killer. There are these very small moments I picked up my last time through, particularly when Natalie says she didn’t know Michelle, and Brenda shoots the tiniest of looks that you pick up on after the fact. If you go along for the ride and accept a few coincidences, it’s a very well crafted movie. Five out of five packets of Pop Rocks.

Entertainment Value: I said in the podcast that the movie never quite becomes FUNNY, it’s not a spoof, but it always knows when to break the tension with a joke, and takes itself JUST serious enough. It’s got a good sense of humour, fun easter eggs, and is very well acted. I have a blast with this movie every time I watch it, it’s just so fun, and for the RIGHT reasons this time! Five out of five cans of soda. …Oh no.