Scared to Death (1980) — Triskaidekafiles

SCARED TO DEATH

WRITERS: Written by William Malone

Base on a story by Robert Short & William Malone

DIRECTOR: William Malone

STARRING: John Stinson as Ted Lonergan
Diana Davidson as Jennifer Stanton
Jonathan David Moses as Lou Capell
Toni Jannotta as Sherry Carpenter
Kermit Eller as The Syngenor
Walker Edmiston as Chief Warren
Pamela Bowman as Janie Richter

QUICK CUT: After a minor fender bender, Ted and Jennifer fall for each other, and she helps him rebuild his career as a detective.

THE MORGUE

Ted - A down on his luck detective who has an inflated ego, currently working as a writer. He is highly skilled in the field of detecting, but has people skills issues.

Jennifer - A woman who loves her car, and has a keen intellect. She has a sharp wit that almost matches Ted’s, and is none too shabby in detecting.

Lou - A friend of Ted’s who still works for the police, and is constantly trying to get him back into the swing of things, and back on the job.

Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

TRISK ANALYSIS: Welcome back, Triskelions! We are wrapping up the month with a movie by William Malone, called Scared to Death. It can best be described as a bit street level "Alien" or I guess that makes it "Predator 2", but I also feel like it would pair nicely with a movie I covered a few years ago, The Suckling. And while y'all try and make sense of those comparisons, let's get this review going.

Now, the disc I got had two different versions, the original, and the director's cleaned up, trimmed down version. I opted to go with the original, just to try and experience as it originally would have been, more or less. There’s not much difference between the two other than a few tweaks to the visuals, that I could tell.

The movie opens with a bit of text about how this movie is a work of fiction, but it's science is all too real, and if the events haven't happened, they very well could.

I, for one, would like to welcome our genetically created science abomination overlords.

We spend quite awhile literally walking through the credits, until the cameraman finds a woman coming out of the shower. She gets ready for bed, she answers a phone call, and then hears a noise.

She thinks it's her cats, and goes to investigate, and unfortunately the power goes out. She keeps looking for whatever made the noise, and unfortunately she finds it.

We don't get a good look at what attacks her, as the movie wisely builds up to that reveal, like any good horror flick.

I just filled your dish, you can’t be hungry already!

The cops show up the next morning, and the only clue worthy of any note is a slimy, snotty substance on the door frame, and the temperature in the room was abnormally cold, making it hard to ascertain a time of death.

Detective Capell gets dressed down by his chief, since this is not the first such incident. He's being pressured to find a suspect, but there's nothing to go on. Lou wants to bring in a disgraced cop who had a knack for weird cases, but the chief isn't having it.

Speaking of the disgraced cop, we meet him next, as Ted Lonergan is being yelled at by his agent to write a new book. Seems like the cop is doing all right for himself.

I also love that the agent keeps calling Lonergan’s books crap, and the would be writer is just like, hey! They may be crap, but they still sell!

Here's my next story, an ex cop turned writer murders his agent who won't get off his back!

As Ted is pulling out of the parking lot, he's not paying attention, and backs into someone else's car. And thus begins his meet cute with Jennifer Stanton. She yells at him for his recklessness, and he gives her his card and offers to pay for any repairs.

Later, at Ted's office, he's playing chess with Lou, who is trying to bring him in to consult on the actual plot of this movie. But Ted doesn’t want to get involved almost as much as the chief doesn't want him there.

Following a visit from Jennifer to get some money for the damages, we cut to another random blonde girl who ends up become the killer's next victim.

There is a brief interlude introducing a new character, but she only watches the news, and makes a phone call. She'll be important later, and I only mention her now so she doesn't come completely out of the blue.

Meanwhile, Ted and Jennifer have a dinner date, with a little spooky wandering through an underground tunnel on Jenny's part, just to keep some sense of tension going.

While those two have sex, the plot continues with a pair of maintenance workers getting called in to check out a problem in the sewers. It's not long before the pair of them get taken care of by the creature.

Later, back at Ted's office, Lou shows back up, and is surprised to find the place is clean, and he can see the floor. Turns out it's because of a lady's touch, as Jennifer is there, and has cleaned up, and is putting away files. Is...is she a secretary all of a sudden?

But the reason Lou is there, is to once again beg Ted to help with this case. It's weird, they have nothing much to go on, and this is the sort of thing Ted was great at. I haven’t gone into the details, but the movie does a decent job actually selling Ted as a very good detective, at least.

Over in the actual plot, some kids are skating around a parking garage, and one of the girls goes on a run down the structure. She hears a strange whistling noise, and goes to investigate. Yeah, that's smart.

To keep this long story from getting any longer, the monster likes to whistle, for no particular or explicable reason. Let's just go with it being an effective lure. Anyways, Kelly runs into the creature, and she gets killed when it French kisses her to deah.

Yeah, this is about when we start getting some really good looks at the creature. It's a good design, if I must say. It's clearly inspired by a few different things, and obviously just a guy in a suit, but it's enough of it's own thing, that it kinda works. Especially for a lower budget pic like this.

We cut to the cops on the scene, doing their thing, and trying to interview Kelly's friends. Ted's also there, and sparks fly when the chief shows up. Also, Jennifer sees the mystery girl from earlier, and she says she has some information to pass along.

They talk off camera, and Jennifer heads out to a lab somewhere, to further investigate, presumably to meet Sherry and learn more about the plot.

Jennifer looks around for Sherry, but can't seem to find her in the lab they're at. Before she can find the girl, Jennifer runs into the creature, and becomes it's latest victim. Fortunately, she only gets put into a coma.

YES HELLO I AM SHERRY I HEARD YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME.

Lou tells Ted that Jennifer is in the hospital, and he rushes to see her. The doctors are clueless as to the real reason, believing it to be the result of an epileptic fit.

We jump to Ted trying not to drink himself into a matching coma, when Sherry arrives to fill them in on the actual plot. Thanks, Miss Exposition.

Sherry worked for Amberdine, where they were trying to create a new lifeform, which it's creator believed if it ever grew up, could be very dangerous. He had intended to kill it off, but apparently didn't succeed before his own death. Great, here we go with another Godmonster.

Honestly, none of this is the weirdest thing we've heard around these parts. At the time, everyone assumed the creature died, but now Sherry thinks it's survived, because it feeds on spinal fluid, and the victims would look like they had a fit, or a brain tumour.

I love how this is all just handwaved away with "The victims look like they have a brain tumour because I say so" instead of "it looks like a brain tumour because..." and some sort of at least BS science reason.

Something about all this sparks some motivation in Ted, and sends Lou to the coroner to try and find any other victims or evidence, while he and Sherry try and come up with a way to kill the thing.

You’ve heard of junk drawer, now get ready for gun drawer.

Back at the lab, Sherry is going through notes, and reading them out loud for no one's benefit but our own, as they explain a little bit about how the creature works. I do appreciate the attention to some of the details.

Also, points for coining a new word to name the creature, a "syngenor", or synthesized genetic organism.

Her exposition gets interrupted by some noise, and she goes to investigate like a good potential victim. I hope it’s not the cats again…

Sherry runs into one of the maintenance workers, still barely alive. Before he dies, he tells Sherry and the just arrived Ted, that the crearture is in the sewers.

This is what happens if you floss too much.

Oh, and there's the added problem that the creature is getting ready to reproduce. You know, it sure feels like Species ripped off a lot of this plot, and just made it sexy.

It sure is weird how the movie coma'd Ted's love interest to sideline her, and pair him off with another woman, like they're hot swappable. But I digress!

Anyways, we head into the sewer, find the creature's lair, with a few bodies, and a few eggs, and oh great, they're pulsing and thrumming, we've found the Contamination eggs again.

Since it doesn't look like Ted is going to find an turtles down here to help him, he takes out his gun and shoots the eggs sacs or whatever they are, hopefully stopping any breeding about to occur.

The monster hears the gunshots and comes running to protect it's babies. The movie pads itself out for a bit by chasing through the sewers, and conveniently the manhole cover won't budge. So, we have to find another way out.

Sherry and Ted come up in a metalworks factory nearby, and scramble around trying to find a way out. And they do, after a fashion, by finding a way out of their predicament. Ted will lure the syngenor into the drop forge, Sherry will activate it, and ta da, pancakes!

I'm gonna tell my kids this was the fourth Doctor and Sarah Jane.

The monster shows up, it's telltale whistle alerting them to its presence. You know, if your monster is whistling, that's usually a sign to get a tune up.

Sherry and Ted get into position for the plan, get the console fired up, but it has trouble keeping up and running, because of an overheating issue. On the one hand, this is SO VERY clearly padding to draw things out. But also, the note left behind by one of the workers at the factory is *so very* true to life.

The creature grabs Ted, and he sure seems like a goner, but fortunately, Lou shows up with a shotgun. It doesn't kill the creature, but it knocks him back long enough for Ted to catch his breath.

Drop forge, apply directly to the forehead.

It ends up on the drop forge, Sherry slams the buttons, and the creature goes squish. The movie is pretty much over, but they drop in one last scare as they Friday the 13th us by having Jennifer be attacked by the creature in the hospital, only to reveal she was having a nightmare.

The only reason I didn't IT WAS ALL A DREAM! that, was because I didn't want to imply the whole movie was a dream.

TRISK ASSESSMENT

Video: Even though this version isn’t the preferred, colour corrected version the director prefers, it still looks pretty good. Once again, a good restoration by Vinegar Syndrome. If anything, it’s maybe too hard to see some details in the darkness, but that’s more likely by design.

Audio: The sound is mostly good, but there are a few moments where the music overtakes the dialogue, but those are very few and far, far between.

Sound Bite: “Maybe we'll run into each other again." "...I hope not!" Ted and Jennifer shortly after the accident

Body Count: A fair amount of death, spaced out throughout the movie

1 - A little over eight minutes, and the monster claims it's first victim
2 - Another blonde woman is mauled
3 - Maintenance man gets killed in the sewers by the creature
4 - And then another one is grabbed before he can get away.
5 - Kelly the skater gets tongued to death
6 - The alien gets squooshed in the drop forge.

Best Corpse: Most of the deaths are off camera, or obscured, but the great shot of the syngenor tonguing Kelly is a definite highlight.

Blood Type - C+: There’s not a whole lot of blood, but it looks good when you see it, and some extra points for the creature design.

Sex Appeal: You don’t see much, but there is a steamy, classy sex scene

Drink Up! Every time someone says they’re sorry.

Movie Review: I dug this. It’s a bit derivative, and definitely low budget, but it works on the level for which it was made. The acting is decent, and I enjoyed the characters and their chemistry. The science is a nice touch, and the movie is arguably ahead of it’s time. It’s also well shot, and nicely paced. A lot of movies like this would have had maybe a death to start the movie, and then spend the first half or so with characters chasing their tails. Scared to Death at least drips in the occasional death, and uses it to move the plot forward, or at least ratchet up the tension on the characters, because they are directly affected by the continued murders. This is like watching Slithis, with a bit more polish, and a bit more urgency to the plot. Three out of five whistling monsters.

Entertainment Value: Most of the entertainment here comes from the creature itself, as it’s kills are fun to watch, as well as Ted’s acerbic wit. This is otherwise just a nice, straightforward, little monster slasher movie, that’s a decent way to spend 95 minutes. Three out of five rear quarter panels.